Sunday Best / May 11 2008
Have you ever pretended you were not in the house when someone was knocking on your door? That’s what Audrey and I were doing at 7:45 this morning when arch joker Reg, fulfilling the promise he made me last week, arrived to accompany me to Sunday Services at St Michael’s Church in the village.
Well, I [...]
Sunday Morning Excuses / May 4 2008
Audrey and I keep bumping into Reg and Hercules, his little Jack Russell terrier. I was flabbergasted this morning when he asked me: ‘Didn’t see you in church this morning, Napoleon. Something better to do, eh?’
‘Well . . . I was . . . erm . . .’
‘No excuses, mate. I‘ll see you there next [...]
A Tail of Two Doggies / April 23 2008
I have just been chatting to Reg. Instead of having to pretend to laugh at his awful gags, we were actually having a serious discussion. We were talking about dogging. (Google it.) According to the local press, the village has a serious dogging problem that is developing relatively unchecked.
The people who take part in this [...]
CCTV Fever / March 31 2008
‘Have you seen all the bloody cameras springing up all over the village?’ I was asked this morning. ‘Big Brother is watching you,’ he said.
It was Reg, the fellow who is always telling me old jokes – jokes not heard since the days of valve radio. He wasn’t joking this morning, though; he seemed genuinely [...]
Project Telescope / March 20 2008
‘What do you reckon to this, then?’ I bumped into joker Reg this morning and he thrust a huge brass telescope into my hands. ‘I’ve been saving up for it for ages,’ he said proudly.
‘That’s one fine-looking telescope, Reg,’ I told him as I dropped his precious acquisition on to the pavement. ‘Oh my god, [...]
The Men Who Loved Women / March 7 2008
I bumped into arch joker Reg and his diminutive, three-legged Jack Russell terrier Hercules in the park earlier today.
Hercules is so small, he looks like a tiny guinea pig as Audrey chases him around the flower beds. Although he does his very best to keep up with her, she is much too quick for him [...]
I See Dumb People / January 21 2008
As I was coming out of the Co-op today, I bumped into Reg, the aquatic troubleshooter, and I must say, my opinion of the fellow has changed.
After standing and chatting to him for a few minutes this morning, I realised that he is in fact a comedy genius.
He had noticed that I was becoming intensely [...]
