Cosy Power - In Which Davy Lawrence Finally Loses The Will To Live / August 29 2008
The day I have been dreading for ages has arrived. Reg has been hard at work practicing on his new drum kit and wants to book into the studio to record some ‘hot tracks’.
As Audrey and I were passing his house this morning, he erupted from his front door and pulled us inside. The interior […]
Presidential Statement / August 27 2008
I bumped into Reg yesterday. He was sitting on the wooden bench outside the health centre eating a black pudding and beetroot sandwich that I guessed he had just purchased from the Asian off-licence. He was reading a copy of The Sun.
‘I don’t know how you can eat that crap,’ I told him. ‘There are […]
All That Glitters / August 24 2008
As I was passing the recycling bins in the car park of the Co-op - that comically provincial supermarket full of half-price frozen fagots-in-gravy and Aunt Bessie’s Traditional Yorkshire Puddings - I spotted Reg, who was emptying bags of what looked like CDs into one of them. ‘Getting rid of all the crap,’ he commented.
‘I […]
North and South / August 15 2008
Dear old Nelson Galaxy is always telling me about the alarming things he often hears coming from the streets around his flat in London, and considering the nature of such a big city, this is something that is not totally unexpected. I have no idea, however, what was happening last night right here in this […]
Hip Hop Pensioner Turns Blue / August 10 2008
‘Reg, I’m sorry if I upset you the other day.’ I felt so bad, I had gone round to my elderly friend’s - the erstwhile alien abductee’s – house to apologise for being so rude to him.
He told me not to worry about it. ‘Anyway, what do you reckon, eh?’
‘What’s that, Reginald?’
‘I’ve bought a drumkit! […]
He Still Wants To Believe / August 7 2008
Reg has just been telling me again about his recent UFO sighting. He described the object he saw in the sky and recounted in encouraging detail how he had watched it come down in a small copse near the Townend Farm sheep fields. He finished by asking: ‘You don’t believe me, do you?’
‘I believe you […]
He Wants To Believe More / July 30 2008
Septuagenarian arch joker and conspiracy theorist Reg has been telling me more about the alien spacecraft he is convinced made a crash landing recently in the Derbyshire hills just outside of Blackwell. I bumped into him yesterday as he was jumping off the Alfreton bus.
‘Hey, Davy, look at this what I’ve just bought!’ His voice […]
He Wants To Believe / July 24 2008
There was a knock on the door half an hour ago. Standing there was Reg, breathless and sweating profusely. His tiny Jack Russell was trying to urinate on every vertical surface within three feet of my front door.
‘Here, I’ve come to show you this again. Amazing, eh?’ He thrust an object into my hands whose […]
More Secrets and Pies / July 21 2008
Reg collared me again today. He was coming out of the Blockbuster store on the High Street with an arm full of DVDs. ‘What do you reckon?’ he asked.
‘What’s that, Reginald?’
‘I said to the bloke in there,’ he pointed behind him, into the shop, ‘Can I have Batman Forever?’
‘Oh, yes?’
‘Do you know what he told […]
Secrets and Pies / July 17 2008
I keep bumping into Reg; I think he’s stalking me. And, apart form his – sometimes quite sophisticated – jokes, he does, rather worryingly, tend to say some odd things.
Earlier today, outside the Starlight Café in the village, he looked like he was dressed for a rap video: he had on a baseball cap, baggy […]
