A Nautical Theme / June 26 2008
Audrey and I passed an old man near the shops this morning who had apparently just fallen over. He was already being helped by several people so I did not feel obliged to stay and offer any assistance myself.
Moving on, towards the post office (I had several letters to post and needed to stock up […]
X-Katy / June 2 2008
I don’t know your name so I call you X-Katy because that’s the registration of your blue Peugeot 1007 – XKT.
You recently moved into a house a few doors down the road from me and we have acknowledged each other a few times but have not yet had a proper conversation, other than exchanging a […]
Eye Can See Clearly Now / May 14 2008
I awoke with a jolt this morning at 5am in worried-sheep mode, full of anxiety. I feared one of my big, black waves of depression was about to engulf me. I read some John Donne before going to sleep last night (yes, I read metaphysical poetry – try not to faint) to prevent just this […]
I Dream of Jenni / April 25 2008
It’s happening again.
I keep dreaming of pretty, blonde TV presenters. Last night it was Jenni Falconer’s turn to pay me a visit. The whole thing is rather unsettling because I usually prefer brunettes when it comes to attractive women. I think my subconscious is probably trying to tell me something.
But, oh boy, was I having […]
The Wind and The Crow / April 7 2008
Have you ever been startled by a bird flying into a window?
I was having a quiet mid-morning latte whilst gazing out over the rec’ from the control room, listening to the wind rattling the eaves and watching old people fall over on the snow-covered paths below, when . . . Wham! An enormous black crow […]
Hummingbird / April 2 2008
‘That’s a lovely tune.’ I was complimenting a handsome brunette who was serving me in the Co-op. She was humming loudly as she handed over my Cheshire cheese.
‘Oh, thank you,’ she giggled. ‘My family are always telling me how musical I am.’
‘They’re not wrong.’
‘I just love beautiful melodies.’
‘Me too; don’t stop,’ I told her, smiling […]
Turbulence / March 12 2008
Again with the severe weather here in the middle of Great England. When Audrey and I stepped out of the house this morning we were nearly blown off our feet. ‘Crikey!’ I declared, battling against the gale.
‘George W. Bush!’ barked my little dog who was trying not to become airborne again.
In the village, as we […]
Angelina versus Jennifer / March 8 2008
I dreamed last night that Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Anniston were fighting over me. They were really going for it. There was lots of hair-pulling, face-scratching and even a few karate chops and well-aimed heavy punches. It was great.
It then got even better when Sophia Loren from 1960 suddenly appeared and stepped into the fray. […]
A Very British Quake / February 27 2008
There was an earthquake here at 1am this morning that registered 5.2 on the Richter scale.
Audrey scuttled under the bed, the wardrobe shook, the bed vibrated and the sash windows rattled in their frames. No one was seriously injured and nothing much happened but everyone is talking about it.
‘Did the earth move for you this […]
Double Glazing / December 20 2007
Audrey and I put Hamilton on the train to Manchester this morning. He spent more than an hour on the telephone to his agent after breakfast and has managed to borrow a modest flat in the city for a few months. He even has some voice-over work lined up.
He also dug deep and managed to […]
