All That Glitters / August 24 2008
As I was passing the recycling bins in the car park of the Co-op - that comically provincial supermarket full of half-price frozen fagots-in-gravy and Aunt Bessie’s Traditional Yorkshire Puddings - I spotted Reg, who was emptying bags of what looked like CDs into one of them. ‘Getting rid of all the crap,’ he commented.
‘I [...]
Cherry Outburst / August 22 2008
What is that constant ridiculous sound in the background of the Verve’s new single Love Is Noise? It sounds like a herd of geese. It makes Audrey bark like some kind of crazy female madman every time it is played on XFM. It ruins what is otherwise quite an average song.
Actually, I would rather like [...]
Silly-Billy Lily / March 6 2008
Crap singer, appalling fashion designer and amateurish chat-show host Lily Allen has angered organisers of the Isle of Wight Festival by cancelling her appearance at the last minute for what all agree are unacceptable reasons.
In an interview with BBC 6 Music, promoter John Giddings said that she had been booked since November but has pulled [...]
Fruit / September 12 2007
I do not watch much television, but I must say that seeing Dannii Minogue on The X-Factor on Saturday evening didn’t half make me feel fruity.
I used to quite fancy Kylie, but my attention has now been drawn to her dark-haired sibling. She reminds me somewhat of my ex-wife who, if the truth be told, [...]
Lipgloss Weekend / August 24 2007
All the decks have been cleared in the studio ready for Nelson’s arrival later today. He will be here until Tuesday. We are due to begin work on his first full-length album. I shall be producing it, whilst drummer Graham Boffey, trumpeter Ash Morgan and sax-god Paul Varga, my Enormous cohorts, will also be lending [...]
Guilty, M’Lud / May 9 2007
Nelson Galaxy tells me he bumped into George Michael as he was leaving Brent Magistrates’ Court in London yesterday. ‘He didn’t look guilty,’ reported Nelson.
But there really is no reason for George to be contrite, is there? His offensive driving only came about – allegedly – because of tiredness and ‘prescribed’ drugs; so one would [...]
Lollipop Lollipop / May 2 2007
Nelson Galaxy and I were in San Diego yesterday.
Nelson is launching a new range of lollipops aimed at the musical sweet-toothed transvestite market and he had a meeting with some Californian venture capitalists who are interested in investing in his fruity idea. He took me along for moral support. He was showing off a little, [...]
The Return of Tap / April 25 2007
How delighted I was to learn today that seminal rock band Spinal Tap are to reform. They will play the Live Earth concert at Wembley Stadium in London in July. The group were created for Rob Reiner’s cult 1984 film This Is Spinal Tap.
I have worked with Rob Reiner’s famous father Carl, who directed my erstwhile [...]
Pictures of Tom / April 4 2007
I was sorting through some band publicity photographs today and I came across some glossy prints of Tom Waits that I acquired ages ago.
They were taken by UK photographer Ed Sirrs in LA for a feature in the NME in 1993. He gave some of the prints to me years later as a present.
I mention [...]
Network With Us / April 2 2007
My dear friend Nelson Galaxy came round for tea and biscuits yesterday evening. We spent most of the time setting up elements of our musical network of friends in cyberspace. Oh what fun we had: listening to Burt Bacharach, drinking ice-cold rose wine, eating pretzels, laughing and singing and making lovely new acquaintances from all [...]
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