Presidential Statement / August 27 2008
I bumped into Reg yesterday. He was sitting on the wooden bench outside the health centre eating a black pudding and beetroot sandwich that I guessed he had just purchased from the Asian off-licence. He was reading a copy of The Sun.
‘I don’t know how you can eat that crap,’ I told him. ‘There are [...]
A Load of Cobblers / May 29 2008
On our afternoon walk yesterday, I noticed that the BNP office on the High Street has been transformed into a lovely little florist shop called Cobbler’s Flowers.
I was just telling Audrey how delighted I was when Kev the hard-man-fascist-bully-boy-skinhead-twat came out of the betting shop next door vigorously scratching his testicles – either that or [...]
Teachers on Strike / April 24 2008
Audrey and I passed a small group of teachers with placards outside the Brigg Junior School this morning. They are striking for a better pay deal.
They had a very catchy chant: ‘What do we want?’ ‘More money!’ ‘When do we want it?’ ‘NOW!’ If you ask me, that is a very reasonable demand and one [...]
CCTV Fever / March 31 2008
‘Have you seen all the bloody cameras springing up all over the village?’ I was asked this morning. ‘Big Brother is watching you,’ he said.
It was Reg, the fellow who is always telling me old jokes – jokes not heard since the days of valve radio. He wasn’t joking this morning, though; he seemed genuinely [...]
O Hold Me, Firm Earth / March 24 2008
I’m shocked. I simply could not believe it on Saturday when my Uncle Michael did me an enormous favour. We have hardly been on speaking terms for about fifteen years and it has been an established belief within the family that we hate each other’s guts.
Michael is a staunch supporter of the British National Party, [...]
Lord and Lady Muck / November 2 2007
The Mayor and his wife arrived in the village this morning to open the new Priory Health Centre. Audrey and I stood watching as he and his brassy wife disembarked from the black stretch limousine that is used to ferry them around.
What a waste of public funds. The mayor has no actual political power and, [...]
Send Home the Clowns / October 28 2007
Innovative government regulations threaten to consign the traditional travelling circus to the history books. Many clowns and much-loved performing animals are having to be pensioned off because of tough new rules.
I was so pleased when I learned today of the introduction of a proposed ban on animals in circuses in the UK. Many are obviously [...]
A Village Defined / September 19 2007
Following on from yesterday’s post, I have been thinking a lot about where Audrey and I live and work.
I quite liked this unassuming, little, ex-mining village when we first moved here. It made a change from the tourist hustle and bustle of Newark where we used to live. It made me very sad when I [...]
Camp David / July 31 2007
Gordon Brown didn’t quite tick the ‘George Bush is my best friend’ box when he met the US president yesterday. But it seems that we can all rest easy that the relationship between the two leaders is a strong and mutually respectful one.
In my opinion, the biggest issue is one of trust. How much can [...]
Gangmaster Flash / March 21 2007
The new people who have moved into Bernard’s old flat across the road from Audrey and me are from Belarus; six young workers in a one-bedroom apartment with hardly any furniture (there is no room for any!) and no curtains, in a village in Derbyshire.
I was talking to one of them, a bluff and amenable [...]
