More Cake / February 29 2008
I bumped into Mary in the village today and she confirmed something that I already suspected: she had made those delicious muffins yesterday just for me; they were not ‘left over from a big bake’, as she explained when she knocked on my back door at two o’clock in the afternoon.
Mary never seems to have [...]
Let Them Eat Cake / February 28 2008
People are so wonderful sometimes.
My elderly next-door-neighbour Mary knocked on the door about an hour ago and handed me a plate full of honey and raisin muffins. ‘I made too many,’ she said.
I was touched. Mary is incredibly tolerant; she never complains about the noise being made in the studio and is always gracious and [...]
Singing In The Rain / February 1 2008
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing when I looked out of the bedroom window at 6am this morning. Walking along the dark street in the middle of an arctic thunderstorm was Mary, my elderly next-door-neighbour.
The rain was mixed with snow and it was falling so heavily I could hardly make her out. I could [...]
Throes / January 14 2008
The middle-aged couple who have moved in next door were in the throes of loud sexual congress for about two hours last night.
The man – whose first name I have just learned is Maxwell – and his wife were making more noise than was strictly necessary for a windy Sunday night in a quiet street [...]
Note / January 6 2008
A handwritten note was pushed through the letterbox early this morning. On it was scrawled: ‘Dear Mrs, Please not to make so much noise. We old. OLD.’
Although it reads as if it were written by a person of oriental origin, I am fairly certain that it is from my next-door-neighbours – not Mary, who is [...]
Doorbell Blues / December 15 2007
‘Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!’
That is what I hear about once every hour when someone calls at the house next door. My neighbour Mary has installed her special Christmas doorbell just as she did last year at this time and by the end of today I shall most likely have taken my [...]
Night Moves / November 23 2007
Brian, an old friend from years ago paid me a surprise visit last night. He made me go to the pub and get drunk. You can’t say no to Brian. He is a bluff and hearty Glaswegian and very strong and very persuasive.
‘I don’t really get drunk anymore, Brian. Apart from the physical crapulence, it [...]
Poodles in China / August 15 2007
I have just been asked by Mary, my elderly next-door-neighbour to help her fix a problem she was having with her plumbing. ‘No problem,’ I said, happy to oblige.
I was amazed, however – no, shocked is a better word – when I saw for the first time her collection of porcelain dogs. She has got [...]
Stars and Garters / April 16 2007
The young migrant workers who have been living in the house opposite are to leave next week, and I for one will be sorry to see them go.
They have been excellent neighbours, very quiet and courteous. I believe they are moving eastwards, to Lincolnshire, to toil in the fens and fields in their new capacity [...]
Numbskull Avoidance / March 30 2007
We’re moving house.
I’ve always been fascinated by people who, like me, don’t always demonstrate absolute mental stability, but at the moment, I’m having great difficulty understanding the actions of an unattractive man who lives a few doors down from Audrey and me.
For about two weeks now, his car alarm has been loudly squawking and squealing [...]
