« Previous Entries Next Entries »
Lucky Underpants / February 12 2008
I was talking to a friend of mine this morning who had just returned from a job interview. She was worried that she hadn’t made a good impression on her prospective employers. ‘I just clammed up,’ she told me in despair.
I am exactly the opposite. I seldom attend such interviews, but when I do, I [...]
Finding My Religion / February 6 2008
For a while now, I have been toying with the idea of starting a new religion.
It isn’t that I feel inadequately provided for or spiritually bereft in any way, neither am I living in purgatory or suffering any kind moral agony - it is simply that I think the time is right for a creed [...]
Tired of Lazy Tastebuds / February 2 2008
I am so bored with my diet – well, not bored as such, more ready for a change. Something is coming, looming on the horizon. Storm clouds are gathering in my little kitchen, neighbours are battening down their hatches, a gastronomic revolution is about to shake the foundations of the Fantastic household. Or something. Probably.
Don’t [...]
While the Westerlies Sigh / January 26 2008
High winds here in England.
I have just been struggling with Audrey on the recreation ground, holding on to her lead for dear life and trying with all my might to prevent her from becoming airborne.
One of her friends, a little boy named Billy, had to use all his strength to make it over to us, [...]
International Incident No.2 / November 20 2007
‘You were right, Nelson,’ I informed him this morning. ‘I am an idiot.’
‘What’s wrong?’
‘She’s not the one,’ I told him.
‘Has she dumped you?’ he yawned.
‘Yep.’
‘I told you, didn’t I? They all dump you eventually,’ he said. ‘You’re the Goodbye Guy.’
‘Yep.’
‘Oh well . . . there are plenty more fish in the kettle,’ he ventured. ‘It [...]
List Woman / November 7 2007
My mother is a very organised woman – sometimes worryingly so.
She has an obsession with making lists: shopping lists; to-do lists; things-done lists; birthday and Christmas lists; books-to-read, videos-to-watch lists; places-to-visit lists; places-already-visited-
and-now-ready-to-be-crossed-off-the-places-to-visit-list lists;
daily chores lists; weekly, monthly and yearly chores lists; family-members-to-call-on-the-telephone lists; things-to-nag-Napoleon-about lists (these, in particular, are numerous and substantial); unusual-things-to-show-the-doctor lists; [...]
Telling Teenage Fortunes / November 3 2007
No.15 You will spend the rest of your life wondering if you did the right thing.
Telling Teenage Fortunes / October 26 2007
No.14 You will form a band with a man with a moustache.
You will decide that Politics and Law at Manchester University is a soul-destroying prospect. You will not go.
On the Fantastic hi-fi today:
Astral Weeks – Van Morrison
Sky West and Furious / October 25 2007
I was back in Sky West today – the hairdressing establishment on the market place where, a few months ago, I made a young trainee cry.
It was the same girl this morning who laconically invited me to sit in her chair.
‘Embarrassing trim, please,’ I said, trying to sound jolly. She did not react at all [...]
Goodbye, Anno Domini / October 2 2007
I have had an epiphany of sorts. I have decided to get rid of many items from my past. It is time to start over in my life in many respects and I have realised that the process will be facilitated by discarding certain elements, elements that long ago became quite redundant and perhaps even [...]
« Previous Entries Next Entries »
