White Dopes on Punk / June 18 2008
Aren’t teenagers great.
Whilst wandering through the park with Audrey yesterday evening, a group of adolescents dressed as a cross between Marilyn Manson and street urchins from Oliver Twist, thought it would be fun to shout abuse at us from the relative safety of the dilapidated bandstand in which they had ensconced themselves to smoke joints, [...]
Climbing Trousers / February 3 2008
‘Billy, come down from there!’ his mother chided him in agonised entreaty. ‘Those are your best trousers!’
‘No they’re not,’ shouted the little boy. He scrambled even higher up the wall. ‘These are my climbing trousers.’
Hearing the querulous squeals of little Billy on the rec’ this morning and watching this anxious woman wringing her hands in [...]
More Treatment / October 22 2007
Once again, the filthy urchins of the parish have outdone themselves.
When they turned up at the house last night, they had not even bothered to dress up in the appropriate Halloween costumes or masks. ‘Trick or treat!’ came the inevitable demand.
They were actually shouting at the window because I was pretending that I wasn’t at [...]
More Tricks / October 21 2007
I don’t believe it! There is still more than a week to go to Halloween, yet premature junior beggars in ridiculous costumes are still knocking on my door demanding that I give things to them.
Last night, a gaggle of scruffy little urchins arrived carrying specially designed pumpkin-orange buckets with swirly black ghosts printed on them. [...]
Trick or Treatment / October 11 2007
We had the season’s first trick-or-treaters at the house yesterday. They seem to arrive earlier and earlier every year. The 31st of October is still over two weeks away but there they were at the door with their plastic masks and little hands held out demanding gratuities.
One of the begging children last night was a [...]
Galaxy Hotel / September 27 2007
‘Aaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!’
That was the rather alarming sound that was coming from an ugly little boy-child whom Audrey and I passed this morning. He did not want to go to school.
It sounded like someone was killing a pig. Audrey was most dismayed. ‘I’m not surprised he’s ugly,’ I whispered to her. ‘Look at his mother.’
The desperate woman [...]
