North and South / August 15 2008
Dear old Nelson Galaxy is always telling me about the alarming things he often hears coming from the streets around his flat in London, and considering the nature of such a big city, this is something that is not totally unexpected. I have no idea, however, what was happening last night right here in this [...]
The Case of the Mysterious Sheaths / April 10 2008
I counted five used condoms on the streets this morning.
I always see some. I’m constantly pulling Audrey along, trying to prevent her from sniffing the unsightly objects. I am quite flummoxed as to what they are all doing there. I’m beginning to suspect that the village is being overrun by legions of over-amorous night-time bonkers. [...]
Giant Elvis / March 10 2008
The newly painted sign above the door of the flower shop in the market place declares, in big gold lettering on a purple background: Victorian Posy Shoppe, Florist and Balloon Decorator. In the window, behind which usually reside clever arrangements and bouquets of colourful roses and carnations, there is an assortment of silver and gold [...]
Saturday Gas / February 24 2007
I had to bundle the man from Transco out of the door – quite roughly – to prevent him from turning off my gas supply this morning.
I awoke to the sour odour of a gaseous leak that was drifting from the kitchen. As it turns out, it was merely a loose connection on the intake [...]
Petticoat Junction / February 11 2007
I’m confused.
Audrey and I live very close to a major junction on the M1. A footpath we sometimes follow around the intersection on our afternoon walk takes us almost to the very edge of the motorway before leading us over the vast, thundering road system by means of a narrow footbridge which emerges on the [...]
