The Dark Intruder / July 23 2008
I had a terrible nightmare last night. I thought that someone was in my room.
I was dreaming that a man was standing in silence at the foot of my bed and that he was there to do me harm. ‘Wurhurrrr! Audrey!’ I called for my little dog, but she was hiding under the bed and [...]
Jessica Alba Having It Large / May 23 2008
Another mysterious email – this one from someone called David Domino (who are these people?) – landed in my inbox this morning. The subject line declared: Jessica Alba Loves It Huge. Again, I did not read the body of the message; I am becoming far too paranoid. I deleted it immediately and then decontaminated my [...]
Elvis in England / May 1 2008
There is a dispute raging at the moment over whether Elvis Presley ever paid a proper visit to this country.
Veteran singer Tommy Steele recently acknowledged a story that he took Presley on a secret tour of London. But Lamar Fike and Marty Lacker, two of Presley’s inner circle of friends, insist the King never travelled [...]
Evil Piers / March 28 2008
What is it with the Americans’ obsession with former tabloid editor Piers Morgan who has just won the US version of Celebrity Apprentice?
In the final programme, he described himself as an ‘evil, obnoxious, disgusting Brit.’ His assessment of his own character is nothing if not completely accurate. I would, however, replace the first two letters [...]
Angelina versus Jennifer / March 8 2008
I dreamed last night that Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Anniston were fighting over me. They were really going for it. There was lots of hair-pulling, face-scratching and even a few karate chops and well-aimed heavy punches. It was great.
It then got even better when Sophia Loren from 1960 suddenly appeared and stepped into the fray. [...]
Silly-Billy Lily / March 6 2008
Crap singer, appalling fashion designer and amateurish chat-show host Lily Allen has angered organisers of the Isle of Wight Festival by cancelling her appearance at the last minute for what all agree are unacceptable reasons.
In an interview with BBC 6 Music, promoter John Giddings said that she had been booked since November but has pulled [...]
