Party Fears Two / July 2 2008
There were more celebrations somewhere on the other side of the rec’ last night. Audrey and I hate it when there is a house party nearby.
We do not enjoy the shouting, the horrible thumping music, or the inevitable screaming and brawling in the early hours that round these occasions off.
All of that pales into insignificance, […]
Hopes and Fears / June 29 2008
There was a loud party going on in a house on the other side of he rec’ last night.
With the aid of the Leica 8×20 binoculars pointed through the studio window, Audrey and I watched about twenty intoxicated people as they shouted at the moon, at each other and at the world in general, seemingly […]
White Dopes on Punk / June 18 2008
Aren’t teenagers great.
Whilst wandering through the park with Audrey yesterday evening, a group of adolescents dressed as a cross between Marilyn Manson and street urchins from Oliver Twist, thought it would be fun to shout abuse at us from the relative safety of the dilapidated bandstand in which they had ensconced themselves to smoke joints, […]
Morning Has Broken Again / May 21 2008
Audrey and I passed a group of schoolgirls this morning who were arguing about who was better, the Spice Girls or the Pussycat Dolls.
They were competing with each other, playing scratchy, little mp3s of either artist on their mobile phones – a quiet but intensely annoying, high-pitched cacophony. It spoilt what was up till then […]
CCTV Fever / March 31 2008
‘Have you seen all the bloody cameras springing up all over the village?’ I was asked this morning. ‘Big Brother is watching you,’ he said.
It was Reg, the fellow who is always telling me old jokes – jokes not heard since the days of valve radio. He wasn’t joking this morning, though; he seemed genuinely […]
The Saliva of Civilisation / March 30 2008
Everybody spits around here; the streets and pavements are covered in luminous green globs of frothy phlegm. At times, the village resembles some kind of Wild West frontier town.
It is a local tradition that every member of the family – even the cats and dogs – devote at least one hour a day to the […]
Acid Flashback / February 17 2008
Thank goodness for vandals.
If it wasn’t for the group of teenage hooligans who had set fire to some old car batteries on the rec’ yesterday, Audrey and I would not have been pleasantly warmed on our frosty evening stroll by the impressive bonfire they had so thoughtfully created.
I do so love those naughty boys.
I had […]
NEDs’ Atomic Dustbins / January 3 2008
One thing that amazed me about the New Year celebrations here in the village was that although the bars and pubs were deserted on New Year’s Eve, it looked as if an invading army had rampaged through the normally tidy streets on New Year’s Day morning.
Whilst out on our first walk of the year, Audrey […]
Strange Fruit / November 22 2007
There is an eccentric old woman that Audrey and I sometimes see when we are walking in the village. She is always pushing a grubby baby-carrier around with her. It isn’t a human infant inside her grimy perambulator, however: it’s a doll.
She is an odd and lonely figure and to catch sight of her is […]
Enema at the Gate / October 31 2007
Pranksters removed my front gate from its hinges last night. When I left the house this morning it was lying by the side of the road about three doors down. There was also a large pile of what looked suspiciously like human faeces outside my front door, though I suppose it could just as easily […]
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