Agony Uncle / June 25 2009
‘Why the long face, Davy?’
‘Oh, good morning, Reg.’
‘Don’t tell me, you went out in the village with young Nelson over the weekend, got drunk, got some bird pregnant; got a heart full of regrets and a head full of hangover. I’m right, aren’t I? Tell me I’m not wrong.’
‘You’re not wrong. I mean you are wrong. I was just thinking about - ‘
‘You young lads these days, you have no respect for women any more. Not like in my day – we knew how to treat a woman, we did. Like a lady. Always treat a woman like a lady, Davy.’
‘Reg, I was just - ‘
‘I was treating women like ladies while you were still in short trousers. Before that, even – while you were still a bubble in your dad’s beer, actually. I know what I’m on about, me, when it comes to the female sex. Sex in general, actually.’
‘Reg, have you had your medication this morning?’
‘What medication?’
‘Nothing. Thanks for the advice. About women.’
‘Don’t mention it, Davy. As I say, I am something of an expert on the subject, and I do like to share my experience and knowledge with others. Now, tell your Uncle Reginald why you look so down in the dumps.’
‘I’m fed up with my pathetically bad business skills, Reg. While my brother was here over the weekend - apart from drinking too much again, I managed to turn down two bands who wanted to book the studio. I keep turning bookings away, trying to get the new Enormous album finished. I just can’t seem to find enough hours in the day. I should have taken the bookings. My finances are in a terrible state.’
‘Who were the bands?’
‘You wouldn’t have heard of them.’
‘Who were they?’
‘Progression, a jazz-rock band from Derby, and This Machine, heavy-metal four-piece from Coventry.’
‘Hmm . . . jazz-rock, you say? Heavy-metal, you say? Coventry, you say?’
‘That’s right.’
‘There is nothing wrong with your business skills, Davy – or your taste and integrity.’
Thanks, Reg.’
‘One thing, though . . .’
‘Yes?’
‘Finish your bloody album!’
Filed under Recording Studio / Reg / Women
Comments
2 comments on “Agony Uncle”
jena / July 5th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
ah the appeal of the tortured artist. I love your tunes my dear, finish your bloody album!! *mwah!
Napoleon Fantastic / July 5th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
I am. Mwah!
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