Bad Fat Cab Man / May 28 2008
I’m not usually one to incite hatred or advocate any kind of physical violence but I’m making an exception today.
If you happen to be in an ex-mining village on the Derbyshire/Nottinghamshire border and you see a fat, balding cab driver who looks like the missing link in evolution in a car belonging to Amber Taxis, please stop him and stab him in the eye with a coat-hanger or, at the very least, a cocktail stick.
He has just reversed into Audrey and me while we were quietly making our way past the Spend and Save (a shop for poor people) in the village. If we hadn’t quickly jumped out of his way, we would have been seriously injured.
This is the second time this month this fellow has impeded our egress in such a dangerous fashion and my patience is wearing very thin – with him in particular and with taxi drivers in general. I plan to mount a protest against them. I’m going to run around the marketplace with a gun and a burning flag shouting ‘Death to cabbies!’
On this occasion, I banged on his window and gave him a piece of my mind - if I told you I was slightly miffed with him, I would be indulging in riotous understatement - but he just pretended I wasn’t there. I hope I see him again when he isn’t in his vehicle.
On the way home, we went through the park where Audrey spent a happy ten minutes angering a crow.
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Comments
5 comments on “Bad Fat Cab Man”
Nelson Galaxy / May 28th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I’ve had some horrible experiences in the back of black cabs. One time I had to ask the driver to stop because his racist diatribe was making me rather angry. The best one was the cab driver who tried to grab my girlfriend. Strange people.
Napoleon Fantastic / May 28th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Nelson,
Remember that time in Paris when that midget in that taxi tried to fondle your baguette? How we laughed!
Nelson Galaxy / May 29th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
No
Nelson Galaxy / May 29th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
No, was I drunk?
Napoleon Fantastic / May 30th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Oh yes!
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