Project Telescope / March 20 2008
‘What do you reckon to this, then?’ I bumped into joker Reg this morning and he thrust a huge brass telescope into my hands. ‘I’ve been saving up for it for ages,’ he said proudly.
‘That’s one fine-looking telescope, Reg,’ I told him as I dropped his precious acquisition on to the pavement. ‘Oh my god, I’m so sorry!’
On his face was a smirk of near-disaster. ‘Don’t worry about it, Napoleon,’ he said finally. ‘It’s only a rare and valuable antique that cost me three hundred quid.’ On closer inspection, he noticed that the eyepiece was damaged. ‘Gives me something to do now – I’ll have fun trying to fix it in the months and years ahead.’ I thought I detected a note of sarcasm in his voice.
I feel awful. I was planning an evening in with an improving book, or I thought I might simply lie on the sofa and spend a few hours dreaming of outdoor pursuits while masturbating like a dervish, but I am now scheduling some frantic pacing up and down and quite a lot of hand wringing.
Filed under Embarrassment / Reg
Comments
3 comments on “Project Telescope”
Despina / March 22nd, 2008 at 3:10 am
Oh nooooooo! How awful 
I accidentally poured scalding hot tea over someone’s feet the other day, if that makes you feel any better. I hope you still managed to find time for the all-important masturbating.
Jo Beaufoix / March 22nd, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Ahhhh, it probably only cost him 10 bob really you know. Otherwise he would have probably have kicked your lily-livered white bottom, or something.
Napoleon Fantastic / March 23rd, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Despina,
It does. I feel much better now, thanks, knowing that you injured someone. The world is rebalanced.
Jo,
Thanks for the bottom compliment.
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