The Men Who Loved Women / March 7 2008
I bumped into arch joker Reg and his diminutive, three-legged Jack Russell terrier Hercules in the park earlier today.
Hercules is so small, he looks like a tiny guinea pig as Audrey chases him around the flower beds. Although he does his very best to keep up with her, she is much too quick for him and the poor little thing keeps toppling over because of his missing limb.
‘How are you, Reg?’ I asked. ‘How’s your lovely wife?’
‘The wife?’ he shot back, suddenly very intense. ‘She ain’t very well, as it ‘appens – I think she might be dead.’
‘What!?’
‘Yeah,’ he went on, ‘I’m seriously worried about her; I honestly think she may have expired.’
‘Why do you think that?’ I was very concerned for the welfare of his pretty spouse.
‘Well,’ he began, smiling, ‘the sex is the same but the ironing has been piling up.’
‘Oh . . . ha, ha, ha. But really, is she okay?’
‘Couldn’t tell you, Napoleon,’ he said. ‘Three weeks ago, she ran away with a big black man.’
‘Crikey,’ I said. ‘Why did she do that, Reg?’
‘Obvious reasons, mate. Think about it.’
I did. ‘I know how you feel,’ I told him. ‘Mine ran away with a seventeen-year-old French waiter with a girl’s name - and to tell you the truth, I’m rather glad she did.’
Filed under Audrey / Dogs / English Village Life / Humour / Marriage / Reg
Comments
2 comments on “The Men Who Loved Women”
Nelson Galaxy / March 7th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
My wife ran away with a millionaire - don’t blame her and her frosty Scandinavian ways.
Napoleon Fantastic / March 8th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I don’t. I blame you for not being a millionaire.
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