Frosty Blossom / March 5 2008
It happens with increasing frequency now in this country, probably due to global warming: flowers begin to bloom earlier and earlier in the year having then to endure the shock of cold morning frosts. And it isn’t just the local flora that gets caught out in this way.
As is very often the case in Great England, and especially in the Kingdom of Derbyshire, at the first sign of sunshine, many members of the female population will venture out-of-doors wearing clothing designed not for the icy temperatures of early spring, but for the hot sunny afternoons of late July or August.
At 8:30 this morning, Audrey and I passed a bingo-winged woman and her gaggle of vinegar-faced daughters shivering and complaining as they made their way to school (or the greasy-spoon café or wherever it was they were bound) dressed in short skirts, thin blouses and tottering along on almost-fashionable platform sandals.
It was quite a thing to see; and the overall effect was further enhanced when, as a testament to her awkwardness, one of the least visually-pleasing girls happened to break wind loudly just as they were turning into Landsbury Avenue. Some of the meaty stench wafted our way, causing Audrey to meow like a cat, and making me trip on a raised paving slab, gagging slightly as I did so.
‘Greenpeace should declare your nether-regions an exclusion zone, young lady!’ I shouted after them, but to no avail; they had turned the corner and were gone, hissing and swearing and quacking like evil chickens as they staggered onwards, towards their eventual destination.
Filed under Audrey / Climate change / English Weather / Global Warming / Humour
Comments
4 comments on “Frosty Blossom”
Nelson Galaxy / March 5th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Try not to smell other’s trumps, they will make you see ghosts.
Napoleon Fantastic / March 5th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Nel,
Believe me, I wasn’t trying to smell the trump. It just wafted in my direction due to prevailing winds.
Jo Beaufoix / March 8th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Hee hee, that was so funny, and Nelson’s comment was very silly. I read it to Mr B and it made him snort.
Napoleon Fantastic / March 9th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Thanks, Jo. Nelson is very silly, isn’t he.
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