A Very British Quake / February 27 2008
There was an earthquake here at 1am this morning that registered 5.2 on the Richter scale.
Audrey scuttled under the bed, the wardrobe shook, the bed vibrated and the sash windows rattled in their frames. No one was seriously injured and nothing much happened but everyone is talking about it.
‘Did the earth move for you this morning?’ I asked one of the constipated, middle-aged women on the checkouts at the Co-op.
‘I beg your pardon?’ she replied in mock horror.
Walking home with my shopping, I saw an old woman berating a group of deranged children on their way to school. They were throwing red pantiles dislodged from her roof at a magpie watching them stoically from the branches of an oak tree. ‘I’m seventy-five!’ she was yelling at the animated teenagers.
Turning into my street, I spied a pretty young woman in a short, yellow summer dress who was sweeping broken glass from the pavement. I couldn’t help but notice her breathtakingly long and shapely legs that, fortunately for her, went all the way up to her buttocks. Later on, I can see myself looking up her address.
‘Where man sees but withered leaves,’ I said to Audrey, ‘God sees sweet flowers growing.’
Filed under English Village Life / Pretty Girls
Comments
One comment on “A Very British Quake”
Nelson Galaxy / February 27th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
The earth definately did not move for me. No earthquake action in that London.
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