How It Hangs / December 13 2007
When you get to my age, thirty-five (Eh!? – Ed.), hangovers take on a malevolent character and can be very debilitating.
Nelson returned to London over a week ago and I am only now beginning to feel human again. I blame him - out of pure expediency, naturally - for being a bad influence on me but of course it is I who must take full responsibility for my actions.
I do feel slightly let down by my body: when I was younger, hangovers would only last for twenty-four hours at most. But what I find hardest to deal with now are not so much the physical after-effects of a binge but the mental ones. Apart from feeling overwhelmed by isolation and loneliness, I often disappear again into my favourite deep black well of depression.
One feels confident, elated and ebullient when under the influence – ignoring the fact that I go completely over the top these days and am always too inebriated to actually appreciate being drunk – but the trouble with alcohol is, like any drug, it makes you feel good but it isn’t the truth. It makes reality interfere with your delusions.
When the hangover strikes, my hard-earned mental equilibrium always deserts me. It makes me realise that my defences against my depression are not as cast-iron thick as I sometimes like to think they are.
At least there is one thing of which we can all be certain: when Santa is emptying his sack all over the world on Christmas Eve, Nelson and I will be talking complete nonsense about middle-eights and drinking ourselves steadily into a festive Bolivia.
Filed under Alcoholism / Bad Habits / Christmas / Depression / Drinking / Drugs / Nelson Galaxy / Temptation
Comments
4 comments on “How It Hangs”
Jo Beaufoix / December 13th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
I think sometimes you just have to accept that the depression will always be there a little bit. Each time it happens you just have to try to remember that it will end. You will come out the other side.
You are very isolated where you are Nap. Maybe you should move somewhere a bit closer to your family and friends etc, or just somewhere where the people are a bit nicer ad less likely to stab you.
Take care.
Hugs from the Beaufoixs.
Napoleon Fantastic / December 14th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Jo
Good advice, thanks.
The point I was trying to make is how hangovers affect me mentally these days - I can’t honestly say that I suffer from depression at all these days except after I’ve been on the booze.
I wish one could get drunk but not have to suffer any of the consequences . . .
Jo Beaufoix / December 17th, 2007 at 2:42 am
Hmmm.
Vodka is good for that.
In my opinion.
It not only drives away hangovers, but also wipes out all memory of the past nights events. Therefore any consequences. (Unless you get arrested, beaten up or pregnant.)
Napoleon Fantastic / December 17th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Jo,
I’m not drinking Vodka - whaddya think I am - a girl!?
Leave a comment
