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Fat Is The Question / November 19 2007
It was a big lump of cooking fat that my mother slipped on today and fell badly outside the fish and chip shop in the village.
I was chatting away happily to her - one moment she was there and the next she was not. Casting my gaze downwards, I noticed to my horror that she [...]
To Buy or Not To Buy / November 17 2007
I have great difficulty passing the local bakery every morning. The smell of the various cakes and breads being made inside wafts around the deserted streets and draws Audrey and me ever closer until our faces are pressed against the shop window. We stand there transfixed, staring at the display of sandwiches, buns and pastries, [...]
Nelson Unbound / November 16 2007
Monsieur Galaxy is coming up to record some more of his electric album in a couple of weeks. I know that he is very excited about it – and so he should be: it is sounding rather good.
I love to watch him when he is singing in the studio. He really lets fly when the [...]
Nelson Confined / November 15 2007
So there we both were: I had a weekend off and just stayed in getting drunk as a skunk on cheap red wine; and Nelson Galaxy celebrated his birthday by locking himself in his flat for five days doing more or less the same thing.
Me, I’m an old recluse and I was tired and ready [...]
Fingers are for Pussies / November 14 2007
Audrey has a cat-friend who we often pass on our lunchtime walks. We christened the cute little tortoiseshell Clarence because he is slightly cross-eyed. (Remember Daktari?)
We always have to stop to say hello to him. The pair will have a polite sniff of each other and Clarence will gently rub up against Audrey in an [...]
Dialect Breakthrough / November 12 2007
I am only just beginning to understand the meaning of certain phrases I have heard being spoken around the village recently. The Derbyshire dialect can be quite indecipherable at times, but my ears are becoming more attuned to it as the months go by.
Here are two examples that had me stumped for ages. They both [...]
What Not To Do When Drunk No.1 / November 11 2007
Get drunk again.
The Impossible Man / November 10 2007
‘That’s impossible,’ said a dishevelled old man in front of me at the checkout in the Co-op this morning.
He stank of urine and looked like he was wearing a costume from some low-budget apocalyptic Hollywood movie. He was trying to buy a bottle of vodka but didn’t have the necessary funds and was performing a [...]
Eye of Harmony / November 9 2007
For some odd reason, whenever I spend a few hours singing backing vocals, my right eye gets really sore and sometimes becomes slightly infected.
I spent most of yesterday evening recording a lower-third harmony to That Little Copycat – one of the songs destined for the new Enormous album. When I decided to wrap up the [...]
Space Oddities / November 8 2007
An actor friend of mine has been telling me that he has a part as a ‘background Vulcan’ in the new Star Trek movie.
According to him, his odd appearance gave producers the idea to hold open casting sessions for people with ‘unique’ features to appear as extras in the film. The studio said it was [...]
