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More Tricks / October 21 2007
I don’t believe it! There is still more than a week to go to Halloween, yet premature junior beggars in ridiculous costumes are still knocking on my door demanding that I give things to them.
Last night, a gaggle of scruffy little urchins arrived carrying specially designed pumpkin-orange buckets with swirly black ghosts printed on them. [...]
In Which Audrey Kicks Her Father in the Face / October 20 2007
Life and Death, Space and Time, Fate and Chance: these are the forces of the Universe – well, the more generally accepted ones, anyway. There is another, lesser-known universal force: Sleeping Dog; and I hereby propose that it is this force that is the Most Powerful of Them All.
Last night, Audrey, who sleeps next to [...]
Is It Safe? / October 19 2007
Would I get away with it if I murdered a Turkish dentist?
This is a question that I have been asking myself for a while now.
I need some bridge-work doing on my lovely teeth and my stupid (Turkish) dentist is refusing to do it on the NHS. It’s cosmetic, apparently. It is not essential treatment. Well [...]
Blogging Dilemma / October 18 2007
Nelson has been blogging about how good he is at worrying. Well, we are cut from the same cloth; and this is evidenced by how remarkably talented yours truly is in this respect, too.
What I find most worrying is the fact that, generally speaking, Nelson and I are both fully aware that we are worrying [...]
Cracking Chap / October 17 2007
Nelson’s good friend Pip drove up from London yesterday and popped into the studio to say a quick hello.
‘Crikey, Napoleon - it’s very small, isn’t it?’
‘That’s a rather personal observation, Pip, old chum,’ I told him.
‘I was referring to the studio,’ he laughed.
‘Small but perfectly formed,’ I said with a satisfied grin.
I have decided recently [...]
Nelson’s Blog / October 16 2007
Yay! Our esteemed friend Mr Nelson Galaxy now has his own blog. Why not pay him a visit and say hi. I’m sure he would love to entertain you for a few hours. See you there.
The design is not finished yet but don’t let that put you off - you can still join in with [...]
Sea Pigs / October 15 2007
I was in the little café in the village today when I overheard a bizarre conversation.
I had popped in with the intention of having a coffee and some apple pie but as I sat down at a table near the window, my attention was drawn to an advertisement on the wall for what sounded like [...]
Sign Language / October 14 2007
I have noticed recently that there are some unusual signs and notices in the village, and there is some very weird graffiti, too.
One bright green sign in the Co-op car park says in large white lettering: WHY. Why indeed. The significance of the question eludes me completely.
A notice outside the infants’ school on our street [...]
Legless in London / October 12 2007
‘I was still completely rat-arsed when she walked straight past me. She had a bag on her head, fer God’s sake!’
Nelson has just got off the phone telling me how, after a yet another drunken night in the West End, he found himself standing outside the High Court in London early this morning when Heather [...]
Trick or Treatment / October 11 2007
We had the season’s first trick-or-treaters at the house yesterday. They seem to arrive earlier and earlier every year. The 31st of October is still over two weeks away but there they were at the door with their plastic masks and little hands held out demanding gratuities.
One of the begging children last night was a [...]
