Enema at the Gate / October 31 2007
Pranksters removed my front gate from its hinges last night. When I left the house this morning it was lying by the side of the road about three doors down. There was also a large pile of what looked suspiciously like human faeces outside my front door, though I suppose it could just as easily have come from the bowels of one of the local stray dogs or even Satan himself.
Apparently, in some parts of the UK, the night before Halloween is called Mischief Night. My neighbour Susan was telling me that it is an occasion for underprivileged children to turn feral and to roam the streets in packs. They go from house to house causing havoc by smashing windows, painting obscene slogans on cars, stealing garden gnomes, shitting in people’s yards and separating gates from their hinges.
It was my naive understanding that children – who I think should be banned in this country – only indulged in these kinds of disagreeable activities tonight, on All Hallows Eve. But what do I know?
I fully expect the house to receive a comprehensive egging this evening. I wouldn’t mind so much – youngsters do need to let off steam somehow – but the congealed albumen and yolk is so tricky to remove the next day. I do so enjoy this time of year.
On the Fantastic hi-fi today:
Squeeze – East Side Story
Filed under Annoyances / Anti-Social Behaviour / Halloween / Teenagers
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