Chinese Sky-Candy Menace / October 23 2007
All fireworks should be banned in this country – the free use of them, anyway. They are annoying at best and dangerous and often lethal at worst.
Audrey is scared stiff of them. Local morons began letting them off on the rec’ behind our house last week, and I expect this evil practice to continue through Halloween and Bonfire Night and on to Christmas and New Year. So that’s it: I shall have a very frightened little dog from 5pm onwards every day for the next three months. I am so happy.
They never will be banned, of course – there is just too much money to be made from their manufacture and sale. It puzzles me how teenagers can afford them, actually. The rockets that explode around the village these days sound like heavy artillery going off: aerial bombs designed to terrify and panic; and that kind of fire-power does not come cheap. You would think that youngsters would rather spend the £15 it costs for such a substantial firework on a week’s supply of white cider instead of something that is spectacular and dramatic, yes, but that lasts mere seconds. One does have to bear in mind, I suppose, that their powers of reasoning are not all that evolved, and this is more than likely the main contributing factor in the dubious purchasing decisions that are being made.
I, meanwhile, have spent £20 and bought for Audrey a small bottle of Dog Appeasing Pheromone. I spray it in her dark sanctuary underneath the settee every evening and it seems to have a slight calming effect on her. Not to worry, eh, Audrey? We only have to wait till bloody Febuary until you can come out again.
I wrote a prose poem on this subject last year.
Filed under Annoyances / Anti-Social Behaviour / Audrey / Idiots
Comments
5 comments on “Chinese Sky-Candy Menace”
Jo Beaufoix / October 25th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Jazz used to hate fireworks so I know just what you’re going through Napoleon.
It’s just a case of playing loud music and hoping she doesn’t notice them.
Poor Audrey.
Miss M was terrified of fireworks last year. We’ll have to see how she goes this year…
Napoleon Fantastic / October 25th, 2007 at 6:41 pm
Good luck, Miss M.
Jo,
Do you want to borrow some of my Dog Appeasing Pheromone for her?
I’m sure it will work on kids too.
Jo Beaufoix / October 26th, 2007 at 12:36 am
Hee hee.
Will it make her bark?
Napoleon Fantastic / October 26th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Jo,
Possibly. How much bark does she need?
Nelson Galaxy / October 26th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I agree with the expense aspect - missiles do not come cheap. You thought about buying some dog ear-muffs for Audrey? There are always loads of fireworks in London but they are properly managed and not let off by morons. It’s the end of Ramadan today so the local asian kids will be enjoying one bang after another.
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