Fowl Language / September 11 2007
Even though I am a vegetarian, I think that within the next few days I may kill a chicken.
There is a cockerel that has been installed in the back garden of a house a few doors down the street and he has bravely taken it upon himself to try to awaken the whole village at 5am every morning.
I do admire his cocky devotion; he doesn’t stop until we are all up and out of our beds. Mary, who lives next door, has had a word with the owner to see if anything can be done with the excitable bird, but apparently, she was told merely this: ‘It’s nature, innit?’
It has become so annoying, that I am considering growing a beard in protest. I was thinking about running away and getting a job as Father Christmas outside Macy’s for the winter, or until such time as the bird’s ardour has dissipated.
Today when he woke me, I had the singular idea to purchase an air rifle from the local hardware store. I must say the thought of owning such an instrument was very comforting to me as I lay there in bed, grinding my teeth and thinking, ‘What a cock.’
Filed under Annoyances / English Village Life / Neighbours from Hell
Comments
One comment on “Fowl Language”
Graham Boffey / September 12th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
Your story puts me in mind of where I used to live, many moons ago. There used to be a family of cockerels living nearby. I could hear their crowing from round 3am every morning. This went on for some considerable time, months in fact. That was until one boozy New Year’s Eve, some friends and I resolved to rid me of these fowl beasts (ha-ha). Garry, who owned a 2.2 air rifle and a few of us went to find the cockerel’s roost in the wee hours and loosed a few rounds into them. I must say that that was the only time that their shrieking and crowing had a satisfying ring.
That was the last I heard of them. Might I recommend this method to you Nap?
Good luck on the rooster front.
Graham
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