Dogs? They Stink! / September 10 2007
Whilst we were enjoying a peaceful countryside amble yesterday, Audrey decided that it would be jolly good fun to roll around excitedly in some freshly-produced, bright green horse shit.
‘Oh my!’ I declared when she caught up with me. (Those were not my exact words.)
She looked up at me rather sheepishly with her big, brown eyes as if to say, ‘I know, I know. I’ve done it again, sorry. I couldn’t help myself.’
Back at the house, as I was bathing her, I was trying hard to fathom why she does this. She obviously feels slightly awkward and guilty about it because she is always quiet and subdued for two or three hours afterwards. But while she is rolling around joyfully on her back in the sun, enthusiastically covering her long, black coat in stinking faeces, she looks so happy, so full of innocent doggy abandon. I cannot for the life of me figure out why she would ever do such a thing. Perhaps I never will. It is more than likely some truth to which I can only aspire.
The worst occasion was last year when she found a big orange pile of human turds and decided to dive into that. A group of travellers had settled nearby and had been using some hawthorn bushes as a toilet. Oh, I do so adore the travelling community! (Careful – Sarcasm Ed.) Audrey had no trouble in locating this temporary convenience and quickly found a substantial supply in which to wallow.
The aftermath was hell.
Before I began washing her, I pulled on the biggest pair of rubber gloves I could find and smeared an ounce of Vick’s Vapour Rub on my top lip. All to no avail; the only thing I could smell, of course, was Romany shit – though I did detect a certain undercurrent of curry and stale beer. It took me four hours to bath her that day. How I laughed.
Filed under Audrey / Dogs / Life / Pets
Comments
3 comments on “Dogs? They Stink!”
Despina / September 10th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
I laughed at your nice bit of PC language here:
“the travelling community”
That’s what my parents said my cousin had joined when he went to live in a Wigwam in west Wales. I had no idea what they meant.
Thanks for the link, by the way 
Jo Beaufoix / September 10th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Ooo dogs and human poo.
It’s so bad isn’t it?
Animal poo is bad.
Human poo is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
Napoleon Fantastic / September 11th, 2007 at 10:02 am
Hey, Despina
You are very welcome. I enjoy reading your blog.
Jo,
I know: poo. Can’t wait till I’ve got kids.
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