Heavenly Bodies / August 14 2007
It is hard work being single sometimes – especially for a man as handsome and as talented as I am.
What I find particularly perplexing, is when Audrey and I encounter pretty females whilst we are out walking.
I fall in love everyday. As soon as I see a beautiful woman, I am already imagining in my [...]
Kiss My Bass / August 13 2007
I spent all of yesterday worrying that my hand was dead and that I would never fully regain feeling in it. I have been tormenting myself with thoughts of it dropping off or just gradually withering away.
As it turns out, I was of course worrying unduly. This morning, it is completely back to normal. I [...]
The Hand That Time Forgot / August 12 2007
I was supposed to be recording some guitar in the studio today but I had to call a halt to the session.
Last night, like some kind of retarded imbecile or want-wit, I slept very soundly for about eight hours on my left hand.
Consequently, it is now almost completely numb and seems determined to remain in [...]
Spice Rack / August 11 2007
Nelson rang at 9pm last night. He sounded a little down. ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked him.
‘I’m out on the town again. West End,’ he told me.
‘I detect a certain ambivalence in your voice, Nel,’ I said. He told me that he was celebrating ‘all the possibilities that summer in this city offers in such charming [...]
The Measure of the Man / August 10 2007
I was in Smythe’s the Tailors in the village yesterday being measured for a suit. It was an odd experience. I have always purchased what few suits I own ‘off the peg’ - so it was all new to me. Audrey was with me and we were both full of eager anticipation.
Whilst he was busy [...]
Final Reminders / August 9 2007
I am very divorced now, but looking for some old photographs to throw away last night, I was reminded of my marriage ceremony.
My wedding day was a gas.
True to form, I was completely drunk when I took my wife up the aisle, so to speak.
Months later, she revealed to me that she was ‘a bit [...]
Chicken / August 8 2007
I hate the school holidays in the summer, mostly because there are so many jaded children loitering around the streets with nary a thing to do.
Please don’t get me wrong: let me say straight away that, generally speaking, I love young kids. But I much prefer it when they are in another room or town. [...]
Dreaming of Electric She-Males / August 7 2007
Another weird dream. I think I may need psychiatric help very soon if this carries on.
This time, I was surrounded by famous politicians from around the world who were all wearing scout uniforms. We were inside a large, cavernous tent sitting upon very uncomfortable Iranian rugs that were decorated in lurid colours with intricate designs [...]
