A Close Shave / February 21 2007
Larry Rudolph, Britney Spears’ manager, informs me that the troubled pop singer has gone back into rehab. Apparently, the poor girl checked into an unnamed facility at the request of her mother and other family members.
Britney has been trying to contact me periodically since her much-publicised split from erstwhile paramour Kevin Federline, but we haven’t actually got to talk yet, what with my busy schedule and all.
I met her in London a few months ago and we got on famously. We later met up again in the studio and enjoyed an agreeable little shant together one sunny afternoon in June. It was obvious that we were destined to have congress, but, since that charming day, neither of us has been able to find a suitable window in our busy diaries for a further assignation - though our mutual attraction was so obvious at the time, you could see it from space.
I hear that Larry and the other people who are ‘looking after’ Britney have built, for her immediate protection from the media, a big colourful tent with clowns and lions in it. Oh, no, sorry… silly me! That’s a circus. I’m getting confused.
Postscript: I just heard on the grapevine that for a minimum starting bid of one million dollars one can buy Britney’s hair on the internet - http://www.buybritneyshair.com. This is it, the opportunity of a lifetime! It is being sold by the enterprising owner of Esther’s Haircutting Studio in Tarzana. If you have that kind of money, you can be the proud owner of, as well as her hair, the Omega clipper used to cut it all off and even the can of Red Bull that Britney was drinking at the time. You also get her blue Bic Lighter that she left behind and a DIY cloning kit, which, in combination with the severed locks, you can presumably use to create your very own Britney Spears in the privacy of your own bedroom once you get the precious stuff home. I must say goodbye now as I’ve just lost the will to live.
Filed under Addiction / Alcoholism / Britney Spears / Celebrity / Culture / Drugs / Humour / Loneliness / Love / Music / Pop Music / Pop Stars / Rehab / Romance / Sex
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