How To Cure A Hangover / December 15 2006
I was awoken at 6:30 this morning by someone banging stridently on the front door.
While Audrey barked hysterically, I opened the bedroom window to see the unmistakable outline of Nelson Galaxy down there in the gloom of the rainy dawn. Illuminated by the streetlights’ sodium glare, he was hopping around impatiently on what looked like a new pair of red, 9-inch patent leather high heels.
‘Come on, let me in, you idiot!’ he was shouting up at me. ‘I’ve got the new single by the Editors. You’re gonna love it, you prize asshole.’
It was obvious he’d been working hard on his delivery on the way over here.
To say that I didn’t feel too great as I opened the door for him would have been to indulge in riotous understatement. I was decidedly over-hung.
(Last night I’d opened two bottles of Shiraz on my return from the studio and had unhurriedly and attentively set about drinking myself into Bolivia.)
Nelson made himself at home. He managed to find a bottle of Zinfandel at the back of the refrigerator and poured us out two big glasses.
‘That will cure you’re hangover,’ he said.
I drank some. It didn’t.
‘New Editors single, Napoleon – you’ll love this!’
I didn’t. It sounded like bad Joy Division.
‘Where have you been, Nelson?’ I asked him when the song had finished.
‘One of my little clubs, dear boy, you wouldn’t have liked it.’
He was right. I wouldn’t have.
His enthusiasm was unequivocal but I could tell he was beginning to flag. His heavy make-up did little to disguise the fact that he’d obviously had an especially lively and adventurous evening without me.
‘Look, Nelson, I don’t feel too good,’ I told him. ‘I’m gonna go back to bed.’
‘Aw, you,’ he moaned.
It was at that point that the post arrived. And inside an unimpressive, pale buff envelope was an unexpected surprise: a cheque for £1000!
I’d won some stupid competition I’d forgotten all about.
I poured myself a second glass of rosé and smiled at my friend.
‘Hangover’s gone, Nel.’ I said.
Filed under Alcoholism / Audio Recording / Bands / Family / Music / Nelson Galaxy / Transvestism
Comments
One comment on “How To Cure A Hangover”
queenminx / December 16th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
Well done, Napoleon. Have you been entering competitions in women’s magazines again?
Mine’s a large brandy and coke, thanks!
xx
Leave a comment
