Automatic Monkey Trousers / December 20 2006
What is that strange yelping sound in the background on songs by The Automatic?
It sounds like a monkey or something.
Me, I say this: Primates on pop songs?
No! It sounds pants.
Who Do You Go Home To? #4 / December 18 2006
Audrey, Nelson and I were earlier returning from the shops – we’d been to buy Christmas booze and mince pies for the studio – when we met Bernard going in the opposite direction down the hill.
‘Ready for Christmas, Bernard?’ I enquired after him.
‘Will be, I’m just off to buy the ingredients,’ he told us.
‘Ingredients? What […]
Déjà Vu All Over Again / December 17 2006
While listening to various bands promote their singles on the radio recently, I have come to the conclusion that some remind me of several other acts:
The Feeling sound like Supertramp, or even worse, The Buggles;
Editors sound like Joy Division;
The Fratellis sound like Enormous;
Razorlight’s new single Before I Fall To Pieces sounds like they have been […]
The Truth About Fleas / December 16 2006
I bloody hate the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.
Lately, I’ve been listening to XFM on the radio of a morning while I’m working out. The Chilli Peppers’ atrocious music is played at least twice every hour, much to my chagrin. (I tried switching to Virgin Radio but that was even worse.)
I really haven’t the slightest idea […]
How To Cure A Hangover / December 15 2006
I was awoken at 6:30 this morning by someone banging stridently on the front door.
While Audrey barked hysterically, I opened the bedroom window to see the unmistakable outline of Nelson Galaxy down there in the gloom of the rainy dawn. Illuminated by the streetlights’ sodium glare, he was hopping around impatiently on what looked […]
Bones / December 13 2006
I can’t tell you how pleased I was that the Killers have recorded a song about Bones.
Over the years, I think, as the subject of a popular song lyric, he has been woefully ignored.
Other members of the Enterprise have long since been celebrated or at least happily alluded to in several jolly compositions. […]
Who Do You Go Home To? #3 / December 12 2006
Bernard was coming out of the betting shop as I was passing with Audrey this afternoon.
‘Ah! Glad I bumped into you, brother,’ he said.
He was wearing blue carpet slippers, an old, scruffy tweed jacket, a grimy pink checked shirt the ends of the collar of which were curling upwards in a vain attempt to […]
Enormous Fratellis / December 11 2006
Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed how The Fratellis sound like Enormous? I do think they are a very good band but I can’t help thinking that they had had a good few listens of the Enormous album Almost Everything before they started writing some of their newer songs.
I’m not complaining, […]
Why I’m Vegetarian / December 8 2006
I’m not a particularly religious Christian but I do enjoy the happy festivities of the Christmas holiday period. The fascinating family get-togethers, the handsome food and beautiful booze – a truly superior occasion.
Audrey takes great pleasure in it because she gets longer walks than usual, and on our return to the house, she knows that […]
Who Do You Go Home To? #2 / December 8 2006
I was on my way this morning to buy provisions for the weekend when Bernard accosted me outside the Salvation Army Shop.
‘Bet you were wondering why I keep my bedroom window open all night, eh?’ he asked me. ‘I like to hear the cars roll by, heading for Hollywood,’ he whispered.
‘What was your message that […]
