Peoms For Punky Pets / October 12 2006
I’m writing a book of short amusing verse - or peoms (sic) as the title suggests - for children and I intend to publish several of them here from time to time. I’d be really interested if anyone fancies illustrating said efforts. Leave a comment here or mail me at peoms@napoleonfantastic.com.
Here’s a couple for starters - more to follow shortly. Toodlepip!
The Little Horse
Little horse, little horse
Are you a happy horse ?
Of course
You horse !
Elegant Pig
Elegant pig, elegant pig,
Did you come here directly
Or go around the houses?
Oh, who cares what you did?
Just show us your trousers.
Filed under Children's Literature / Humour / Poetry
Comments
9 comments on “Peoms For Punky Pets”
Jo Beaufoix / October 14th, 2006 at 6:34 pm
Dear Napoleon,
Having seen your fine peoms I wondered if you would be interested in my own collection of peoms BY punky pets…
Here are just a sample of this growing anthology…
I’ve never met a cheetah
Who didn’t like gnus
Especially in the month of May
While wearing sparkly shoes
I’ve never met a pidgeon though I’ve ducked from one or two
But as no ones introduced me
I couldn’t give a coo.
(By Magnus Grimes, a very small mouse shaped antelope)
I’ve just met a rather smart schnauzer.
His name is Bartholomew Plum
It’s so ripper to put names to faeces.
Though I’m glad we don’t share the same mum.
(By Cornelious Burberry Check II, Canine Contortionist and Postmaster General to the Royal Borough of PaApa. Note the avoidance of rhyming plum with bum. Quality.)
Oh man, oh man
What were you thinking
When you chose to wear that tie?
You did not think of the consequence
To a poor little dog such as I.
You think when I tug it and chew it and pull it
That I’m trying to make you feel harassed
But I’m actually trying to swallow the thing
Because I’m so blumming embarrassed.
By Dfer, a Jack Russell of diminished self esteem (yes, original name I know, but if you saw what he had round his neck you’d understand. Think little cute bunnies and carrots. I’m just waiting for the matching lead God help me.)
Ta ta for now.
I await more poems with baited badgers and other small animals.
Davy Lawrence / October 14th, 2006 at 6:49 pm
Hey, Jozaphina, you just made my day.
Ezz / October 16th, 2006 at 5:09 pm
Kool poems :)!!! I AM SOO larfin me ‘ead of BY EM! All of fem!
Jo Beaufoix / October 16th, 2006 at 8:27 pm
More poems from the collection Napolean. You may have to converse with Audrey to appreciate them in all their many levels of meaning, but I feel she is a dog of ample intellect to take you on such a journey.
Have you ever considered the merit
Of wooing and wedding a ferret
Or romancing a rat, or a pig or a cat
If so then you’re weird and could quite possibly be arrested.
By Prudence Marples (An octogenarian Octopus)
Oh lamentable lamb
Please think of your man
Before you go out to that party
For now you’ve been shorn, you give me the horn
But others might think you look tarty
By caring but concerned Martin Ramsbody (not just bottom).
qweenminx / October 18th, 2006 at 10:49 am
Message to Ms Beaufoix: Oh when, Oh when are we going to be delighted with more of your ‘punky pets’ …. soon soon! They are adorable! Seriously: have you thought about taking these original and individual little characters out of peoms and putting them in stories? … I for one, would love to hear about the adventures of Prudence Marples, Dfer the Jack Russell and Cornelious Burberry Check II …. what do they get up to when they are not featuring in your poetry??
Napoleon Fantastic / October 19th, 2006 at 11:53 am
Hey, Jo, I agree with qweenie. More please. Or maybe we should get together and produce some kind of book type thingy, hawk it round some publishers… mmm, you got me thinking now… (cue music)…
Jo Beaufoix / October 20th, 2006 at 9:51 pm
Hey Qweenie and Napster
Here’s a couple more for you, just arrived by email from Essex.
Pray think when you name your new kitten
Of what may occur in the yard
For naming your little cat fluffy
Makes other cats think he’s not hard.
So when he comes in looking tattered
With whiskers all wonky and bent
All ragged and battered with fur that’s all matted
It’s your fault you git, so relent.
Do not call your Siamese Fifi
It’ll give those mean moggies a buzz
And by God if you call your cat Tiddles
Then don’t be surprised if he does
(By Petal, a rather large one eyed Tom)
I really love my owner
She’s good and kind and nice
She strokes my chin and makes my din
And keeps me free of lice
I really love my owner
but I really hate her nippers
Revenge is sweet
I’ve left a treat
It’s just inside their slippers.
(By Mitzy, a sometimes sweet, sometimes psychotic Chihuahua with her own line of lingerie)
spartan / November 29th, 2006 at 6:24 am
there once was a boy named luke
who liked to have his usual puke
he went to the school
to go to the pool
and that was the story of luke
Fun Monday - The Life Changing Blog / January 14th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
[...] Well it was all because of this… [...]
Leave a comment
